Neria Alive - Part 1
by WidgetWrites
Summary: Our Grey Warden turned Warden Commander of Ferelden, Neria Signe, has to rebuild from The Fifth Bight. Now she has to contend with the power and responsibility of being the Hero of Ferelden and Arl of Amaranthine, the freedom and pride and cost of learning about her magical elven heritage, her lover turned enemy and king, and the potential grey morality of being a Grey Warden.


Authors note: This is a really old story that I did near 2009. I might continue it but honestly, I would just love some constructive criticism, I know how exposition-y it is, sorry about that. Thank you and enjoy!

Neria had never been so sickened in her life but she was able to hold her spell and lunch as the riling worm of a mother screamed its soul out in front of her. Her entire life she had been around demons and since leaving the tower she had faced darkspawn everyday but nothing had reached so deep inside her with disgust. In in mannerism and speech it was human-like, even including her upper body. Maybe that was why it was so incredibly unnerving for her, how human it was. Neria forced herself to look into the eyes of the monster in front of her as its flesh melted away by the electricity in her arms. Mother's entire body convulsed like jello as it was unable to draw breath between screams. The smell of burned, decaying flesh invaded Neria senses so sharply she had to blink away tears. Darkspawn smell like a warzone left unburied with a hint of a too sweet plant but the Mother smelled like vileness itself; the last warning you would get after not listen to your senses telling you to turn back. Neria wondered if the overripe smell of food was an attractant to the darkspawn she held command over. Without that stench darkspawn wouldn't come this way again.

Neria had to focus her mind or her feelings would get the better of her and the war would be lost. She heard Oghren's war cry as he wrestled with a tentacle and Anders chanted a healing spell for Nathaniel, it was now or never. She closed her eyes and for that second everything she had been feeling took over. The spell broke and Mother rasped a cough, and laughed. Neria could hardly draw breath of her own and before she could complete one intake, she heard a loud thud and the weight of two bodies crush together behind her, Anders had stop chanting.

 _No no no_ – was all Neria could think.

"You have failed, elf," Mother's squid like body and spider like limbs shook and flexed with laughter as pieces of flesh still fell loose, unnoticed to the tainted earth beneath her. "My children will have your world now, eating all that precious flesh. Hahaha, the old God's come back to us then yes, yes. Oh yes! Hahaha their songs will fill the SKIES and every night they will sing us a beautiful lullaby to sleep! Hahaha can't you hear it now Gray Warden!? HAHAHA! Yes, yes hmm. I know you can hear their music too CAN'T YOU! You don't deserve to HEAR IT! MURDER! I'm going to kill you so you can never hear their beautiful songs again!"

Neria shook were she stood, she couldn't face the monster but she wouldn't drop her swords. She wasn't done yet but she couldn't lift her arms. Would it matter killing her if the Father still lived? What had she done, letting him go.

 _It was all her fault. It wouldn't matter, there would always be another monster, especially if she kept letting them live._

That last thought hit her and her tighten her grip on the buzzing swords. She stood a little straighter even with her hands shaking with uncertainty. If she finished this fight would it be worth it? She might be the last person alive, both the city and her keep had faced battle; her companions lie possibly dead behind her. She had to see. She couldn't hear what the Mother was saying, she was laughing about something. The sound shook Neria's bones but nothing else registered. Slowly she turned and faced her worst fear. Spellweaver dragged on the floor and her feet would not budge but Neria was able to see the three bodies completely. Nathaniel was on his back, hand on his chest, breathing. Anders was sprawled on his legs, dust moved away from his mouth. In fear of tricking herself she's looked at Oghren, he was on his belly lying across Anders. She did not see his chest plate rise nor that whisky sparked beard of his move but as she reached his face she met his eye. He had only enough energy to watch her. He blinked and Neria drew in a sharp breath. She blinked to clear her vision and with it a small nod. With a deep breath she knew what she needed to do.

Gaining a strength she forgot she had, she faced the Mother again, taking note of all her tentacles rising to strike her down for the last time. Neria closed her eyes and with a primeval scream struck The Mother with lighting once more. Behind her eyelids she imagined all the people she had grown to love over her adventures laughing and drinking by a warm fire as they used to. Everyone was alive and everyone was there. She even imagined Alastair was there holding her in his arms once more.

Leliana and Wynne were singing and crafting; Shale held up a new gem to the fire as Sten cooked, Zev running from Oghren who was running from Endymion the mabari hound, Nathaniel tending to his families bow and Sigurn to her weapons, Anders trying his best to understand Velanna, and Morrigian demonstrating a new spell for her while Neria tried to ignore Alistair joking about frozen poles in the not so far distance. It was more then she could ever hope for but in that moment she had it again. They were all safe and well. Wynne would scowl hearing that Neria used her emotions to cast such a dangerous spell but when opening her eyes Neria only saw her make shift family safe, and the demon gone.

And so it was, with a last quavering note Mother died sizzling and twitching. The black goop of her blood would not be accepted back into the Earth so with the last of her strength Neria forced the rocks above to become the Mothers grave. No creature would benefit from finding the Mothers body. She was too spent to react the sound behind her and instead dropped her swords and fell to the Earth. She didn't even feel that someone had caught her.

"Easy their Warden, now's not the time to give up we just won! Come on now."

Oghren alcoholic breath didn't wake her to any degree.

"How about we help ourselves to some caviar."

"Of all people I would have never have bet _you'd_ be the one joking about this."

Oghren gently pulled Neria over to Anders who was getting up.

"I'm not dying." Neria breathed out lightly. "You said it yourself, we just won! It's time to drink."

"I wasn't worried 'til you said that." He huffed. "Get your wits about you Neria, you still owe me money. It's no fun if I have to gather it from a corpse."

"Half of that you owe me." Anders jested along. He checked Nathaniel who stirred, and poured a red potion down his throat till he coughed and forced him to stop. Commanding Nathan not to move, Anders rushed over to Neria.

"How are you two." Neria words were hardly above a whisper.

"Oghren and I were just knocked out, we are fine, Nathaniel took a beating from one of those tentacles but now that he is loose, he'll recover in no time, you on the other hand have spent all your mana. Here drink this." Without offering her time to think of protesting he shoved a blue liquid down her throat while allowing her time to breath in-between sips. Once the third bottle was finished, he handed some bottles to Oghren who drank it down like a dwarf's finniest brew and had some himself. Neria felt her magic return, she could feel her heart thickly pound the energy to her extremities. She tried to sit up but magic wasn't enough to make her move.

"Whoa easy there!" Anders caught her and laid her gently back upon the ground.

"Damn you why do you have to be as stubborn as that damn dog of yours?" said Oghren.

"Well they say the take after their owners after a while." Nathaniel finally sat up and gingerly scooted over.

"You would know, wouldn't cha?" Oghren chuckled. Nathan gave him the stink eye and asked how everyone was. They might not have been the closest group of people but the alliance that had been made over their adventures had bonded them all for life. All of them closer to death then they might have ever been and they could still find the energy to joke. Neria laid on the Earth grateful the battle was finally over, no other thoughts in her mind. Her head was on Anders lap and with a twitch her boot hit Spellweaver. Oghren understood the small sound that escaped her. He picked up her sword and dagger and laid them beside her along with his own axes. Nathan's bow and the tip of Anders staff join the weapons pile.

Looking at them all Neria said "We did good." And smiled. They stayed like that for a time, not talking or moving. Different thoughts raced through each mind, except for Neria for she slept. With that time they all gathered their strength until Nathaniel said,

"Do you think she will be okay?" a slap rang through cavern as the sound of metal connected with flesh.

"You lily-livered son of a whore of course she will be alright! You blighted ball-less ass whelp!" Oghren bellowed to Nathaniel nearly knocking him over.

"You've been with her the longest haven't your Oghren," Anders said calmly. "Have you two faced worse?" Oghren faced him, eye ablaze.

"Yeah!" He yelled before he even had the chance to think. "Of course we have! The Deep Roads, werewolves the sodding Arch Demon! This was a nugs fart compared to that! Hahaha you should have seen it!" He swung over to Nathaniel. "You should've seen her _after_ that! She strutted over to the damn palace after she pulled that overgrown piss lizard from the sky! Then she had more weapons, slingshots the size of a house to rip apart its wings, she didn't have to use up all her sodding magic. She'll be fine!" He glared down Anders, daring him to speak.

"She just needs a little rest and we can go back to the Keep." Anders solemnly said. Oghren nodded forcefully and faced Nathan.

"Is that good enough for you? Just waiting for her to kick the bucket?! Waiting to take back your sodding family home? Figured that bow isn't good enough is it?"

"How dare you! Neria has done more for me than just give me a bow! She has helped me return my families honor, _my_ honor! She has been a better friend then I have ever known! The last thing I would want for her is her death!"

"Is that right? You seem awful eager to see her gone!"

"Her no, you yes." Nathan and Oghren start to rise, reaching for their weapon but with a flick of his wrist Anders frozen them .

"Let me go mage!" barked Oghren.

"Release me! So I can finally teach this drunk dwarf a lesson," sliced Nathan.

With all his remaining patience Anders calmly spoke to the two without making eye contact.

"Can't you two see how much you have in common, if anything see how deeply you both care for her. Neria has proved herself again and again to be a true friend in these horrible times, do you really think she would like to see you two fight now because of it?" Oghren and Nathan made sounds to protest but were cut short. "She has given us all something to live for, a family and a purpose and now you want to waste that!? Nathaniel you have your old family home back, although not in the way you planned, you have a job and purpose of the highest honor. Don't give that aside for a damn dwarf. Oghren look at you now, more respected then you have ever been and with a family and a daughter, what would Neria and her mother think?"

"Her mother? Neria doesn't know her mother." Said Nathaniel.

"Not that Neria." Oghren replied. Nathaniel was taken back a second, once he understood.

"You named your daughter after the Warden-Commander?" asked Nathaniel.

"Yeah, what's it to ya?" growled Oghren.

"Does Neria know?" Nathaniel chuckled.

"Of course not! I'm not some blind nug thats just asking for it! If Neria ever find out I'd never hear the end of it! If you ever tell her I rip your balls off and feed them to that Mabari!" Nathan put up his hand in surrender and sore it would go to his grave,

"I thought I didn't have any balls." He joked, then seriously said "I would never say."

"Say what?" Neria took a deep breath and looked around.

"About time Commander!" Oghren called.

"A little bit of rest is good for the soul. Oh Andraste, the keep!" Neria jumped up only to trip on her sword as she tried to pick it up. The men jumped to attention and picked up their weapons and gear knowing there was no slowing down once Neria was determined. They couldn't help but imagine what they would find once they reached their home. It must have been hit as hard as the city but it was built by dwarfs for war and held some of the best, although very limited, fighters; warned just as the city was they stood a chance, if they could just get there.

Neria woke from her dream in a slight sweat. It had been five years since the death of the Mother and with the help of the Father the songs of the old God's hushed in her ears. Her dreams had slowly moved away from the nightmares that Grey Wardens were accustomed too so past horrors found new room to be remembered by. Focusing on the clouds that were her breath she calmed herself and moved over to the window to greet the day. The sky was speckled with small blushing clouds, the inner clock in Neria never allowed the Sun to rise before her. Smiling and stretching like a cat in the pale light and cold morning air Neria allowed herself to wake fully away from her dream and remember the life she lived in now.

By the time they reached the keep it was in utter ruins with few survivors. It had lasted a full week against the onslaught before the walls fell down. The keep had little chance against a full army but with every upgrade Neria could afford, the training of the knights and the few wardens that there were, they stood strong for an impressive amount of time. Neria couldn't be prouder, her keep was now a place of almost myth and her knights were now the most renowned military force in the land; clad in their Silverite armor they were known as the Silver Order. Voldrik Glavonak, the dwarf master stonemason, agreed to take charge of the reconstruction of Vigil's Keep, which was almost complete. He was also very willing to make some add-on's as well.

Vigil's Keep was starting to become a social hub as well with how well the trade was going but the residents consisted mostly of knights, wardens and elves. In her travels Neria was brought to awareness of how badly her kin were treated and deiced that her home would become one for any and all elves in need of one. In The Circle there was no hierarchy to gender or race just to abilities. It was quite a shock to her the first time someone cared more about her race then her being a mage, which could be secretly possessed as the stereotype suggested, while being treated equality horrible. She always held a gentle place in her heart for her heritage and upon hearing how much of it was lost to time she decided that she would do whatever she could to reverse it. Velanna even agreed to teach her in the ways of the keeper and once she got back Neria would continue the lessons greedily.

Movement stirred in the small town below and Neria grew excited to watch the people live out their lives. A sly grin spread across her face as she shifted into a cat. No one other than her closest advisers and wardens were aware of her shifting abilities and even then, to certain animals. But rumor spread throughout the settlement that the animals were somehow blessed and if one was to be harmed, the offender would be cursed for life. So, naturally there was an unusual number of animals around and Neria found many excuses to spy if anything for the simple humor of it. She was secretly very fond of how blanketed in myth her Keep was. She had no idea, truly, of how this rumor started but she was thankful for it. To twist into the animal of her choosing was more of a way to relax and enjoy life then it was to spy but if she just happened to find out something someone didn't want her to know, the better.

Hopping up on the ledge she cleaned herself and stretched again before setting out. The sun was just rising above the crest of the hill, the warmth coating her pelt made her purr before a crashing sound disturbed her. Dworkin Glavonak who worked on lyrium-sand explosives was up unusually early, he must be starting a new project. She'll have to tell Voldrik depending on the size of Dworkin's newest fancy. She arrived at his workplace and was absent-mindly shooed as she hoped on a barrel.

"Be gone you daft cat, unless you want that powder barrel to blow you to smitherings."

Listening to him mutter to himself she discovered that his shipment of Antivan fire dust had just come in. The dust itself was more of a light show then a useful explosion. He always did like the spark as much bite of destruction, nothing to worry about then. Moving on she greeted some of her favorite town's people, normally unable to show favor, she really enjoyed the back and ear rubs she received. Checking on the knights she saw them wake and prepare for the day and decided it was time to check on the wardens.

The mess hall was filling slowly with the Wardens under her command; they were given later hours to wake considering the nightmares they had to sleep through. Every large table held a small group of people including Sigurn and Oghren. Sigurn held a table mostly to herself, the constant talking and joking of death kept most people away, and she preferred to be alone in the morning. Oghren sat amongst a small group of people whom he managed to impress with his tales of his time with the Warden-Commander and drinking abilities. Neria went over to him, hopped on the table and greeted him with a meow. Oghren who was only awake enough to open one eye and grunted as he tossed her a piece from the chicken he had been eating.

"Don't do that Oghren or it'll never leave. Go now shoe, shoe!" one the newer recruits got up and tried to scare off Neria with a wave of his hands.

"Touch that cat and I'll kill ye." Oghren replied. The recruit was taken aback and sat back down.

"You'll learn soon recruit to be careful with the animals around here." Anders smiled as he walked up to the table to scratched Neria's ears.

"You're not telling me that the animals are really cursed here are you?" the recruits all stopped eating and looked up at Anders for his answer.

"You're a mage aren't you? Do you know? Can't you tell?" asked another one. Oghren kept chewing and Anders chuckled.

"Who knows, maybe their all the overly curious new recruits who decide to mess with magic." Neria gave a yowl as a recruit dropped his food.

"Can't take a joke." Anders said, Neria playfully swiped at his hand and left.

"Well there is something strange about the animals here. They are all overly friendly and now I've just seen an offended cat." The recruit said in disbelief.

"And the days just beginning!" Anders said jovially raising his arms to the air. "The animals are friendly because of all the elves, we even have a warden who is a keeper. She can talk to the animals and keeps them well for us."

Neria knew she could trust Anders with telling the new recruits about Velanna so she heading back to her room to officially start the day. Slipping back inside she rubbed up against her war hound Andy and shifted back to an elf.

Cloaking herself in a robe she said, "You can come out now."

From the shadows a lithely from arose.

"Good morning Warden-Commander." An exotic voice greeted her before a face. It filled her mind with imagines of smoke and spice, hinting at many pleasures.

"You just got back Zev?" Neria sat down at her mirror and started to brush out her waist length hair.

"I needed to finish something in the south first but then came right here, yes." He walked over to her and gentle picked up her hair and held it to his nose. She stopped her brushing and looked at him through the mirror, his eyes already waiting. He was clean and smelled lightly of spices; he wanted to make an impression on her then.

"I missed you." Was all he said. Neria never knew what to do in situations like these. In The Circle love was forbidden and her first love thought her a betrayer. She truly did love Zevran but had no idea what to do about it once he admitted his love for her too. He would always play at sexual attraction and eventually she'd play along. It took a while for them to admit their feelings to themselves until one night having sex became too personal to be called anything less then what it was. He pulled back all her hair and revealed the jeweled earring he gave her.

"That looks so beautiful on you. How about we make it be the only thing on you?" he smiled into her neck and he slowly slid the robe off her shoulder.

"Zevran." She breathed enjoy the feel of his breath on her naked flesh.

"I know you have a full day ahead of you but I am so tired I could use some homely comforts. Come woman show me some comfort." She laughed and stood up. He ran the back of his fingers along her neck and kissed the back of her ear.

"Go to the bed." She commanded.

"Only if you join me Warden-Commander." He tried to pull her to her bed only to succeed in taking her robe. She turned to face him, her hair covered her enough to hide her modesty. He smiled a willful smile and dropped her robe taking her all in.

"Oh warden you hair jests me so." He came to her and kissed her, moving half of her hair to her back.

"Come with me." He whispered in her ear. Together he moved them to the bed, he laid her down and she removed his shirt. His muscles taunt and sensitive, she played her fingers over their curves. He moved lower to her neck and sucked a light moan out of her.

"Oh that will never do!" with force he pressed his hand into her hip and with his body moved her deeper into the bed and his body harder onto hers. She smiled and dragged her nails up his chest and down his shoulder.

"You're not in charge here Zev." She said nuzzling into his ear and then proceeded to nip at his collar bone. She felt the deep groan he gave in her chest.

"Oh that's how you wish to play this eh Commander? As you wish!" He ran his freezing hand up her stomach and between her breast and up to the back of her head and drew her into a deep kiss. She tried to restrain her moan. He bit her lip and in surprise she gasped just enough to let his tongue in. The passion in this act made her relax even more as she let out a small sound. He smiled into the kiss and moved his lips lower until he met the mound of her breast. He massaged one with his long fingers and swiped his talented tongue over the other; she arched into his touch. He moved lower and lower searching for her navel like he didn't know where it was. He laid his hands on either side of her hip and held her down and he sucked just below her bellybutton. He held there and allowed his breath to tickle her.

"You are so beautiful like this my warden." She laid sprawled like that letting him look at her before she got up grabbed his head and kissed him thoroughly. She moved her hands over his chest switching between the soft finger tips and sharp nails. He stood there with his head held back and eyes close taking in the pure sensation.

"What are you doing with these still on?" As she kissed his chest she deftly removed his pants and barely passed her hands over his manhood. He started to moan and move against her hands.

"Neria, you have little time and I will see you sated after you call my name three times before you leave this room."

"We will see." And with that he gained command and pushed her to the bed. He made her come quickly again and again with his fingers and tongue alone before she was allowed to touch him again.

"What is my name." He teased sitting up.

"Zev." She jested back, moving with him. Reaching his manhood with her hand she asked,

"What's mine." His body moved unintentionally with the motion she gave.

"Neria." He groaned and with that she ducked her head and did everything to him he liked, and he let her know it.

Finally he said, "Come here." And grasped her buttocks and lifted her just above him, she held his shaft and slowly lowed herself onto it. Together they made a noise of pleasure and held each other before they moved. True to form he made her call out his name. Unable to contain herself again she laid her back on the bed as his passionate, deep and quick thrusts made her breast role. He took ahold of her breast and panted himself into her neck and asked her again. Holding his head she answered. Coming to his own climax he arched his back and thrust deeper. As they came together she called out his name for a third and final time. Fully stated they laid in each other's arms slowly grinding a little longer.

"I'm so happy you're back." Neria said twirling her fingers in his hair. His chest tighten and she understood. "Even if it isn't for long." He got up to look at her.

"I'm sorry my dear."

"You finally found him didn't you? The leader of the Crows. They think you are dead Zevran. Why not leave them in the past?"

"I can't, can you leave The Circle in your past? They might not want your pretty little head but they are as much of you as The Crows are of me. I have to finish this Neria." Part of her wished that she couldn't understand so she could feel angry at him but she refused to feel fear for him too.

"What will happen then? Will you kill him? What then?" They looked each other in the eye without moving.

"Yes I intend to kill him if I find him. What will happen after that I do not know." Zevran sat down on the corner of the bed as Neria sat up.

"Are you sure this is what you want Zevran?"

"I can't live in hiding anymore Neria, they will find out sooner or later that I did not die with Taliesin and they will come after me." Neria understood, while having a different history with The Circle then Zevran with The Crows, if they needed her she would come without question. Voicing her opinion's she once again didn't know what to do with herself.

"I don't know nor do I want to know what you will have to do to The Crows. I don't know the inner workings of a guild of assassins. I know you won't accept my help with this, I guess all I can give you is my," Zevran quickly kissed her on the lips.

"It's okay Neria."

"I'm not worried, I just don't see how this will help. Won't this make them come after you even harder? You know that I don't want to know. You think you need to do this, do it. You know what I think, just be smart." She buried her face in his neck and shoulder, his hand brushing her hair. She took in his smell, she was sure she would not met again for some time, and tried to detach from her feelings that would make her go with him.

"My dear you wound me so. I wouldn't have gotten this far if I wasn't carful. They're back in Antiva. It will be a while before I can make my way back." Neria stood up and walked back to her mirror and organized her beauty tools. Zev followed her and traced his finger over hers and picked up a soft brush and brushed her neck gently. Tilting her neck towards the brush she sighed and remembered their journey together.

"My assassin is going to assassinate the head assassin of the assassin guild that was hired to assassinate me in the first place. I don't think I have ever said ass that much."

He chuckled into her ear. "Assassinating you was the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"All because you fell in love." Neria breathed out.

"Yes." Zevran breathed in. "I wish I could show you one more time how I love you but,"

"I have to run The Wardens and you, have to go." He solemnly nodded into her hair, arms wrapped around each other. They stood still for as long as they could but Neria noticed how high in the sky the sun was, it was getting late in the morning and today she needed to break in some new recruits and more. She had no more time to spend on herself.

"I have nothing to ask of you, just know I care for you and I hope we will be together again soon."

"The feeling is shared Warden-Commander. I love you."

"I love you." With that he left and she stared at herself in the mirror before she got dressed. She chose between her Warden-Commander amour and a magi outfit and once fully clothed and haired pined in a bun, she looked at herself once more and decided that if she couldn't keep Zevran safe she could at least keep their symbol sheltered. Moving over to the fire place she opened a small box. From far away it looked like it was made out of wood from a shipwreck, nothing of importance, but up close she could see its delicate carvings which were practically churchly. Opening it she gave a loving look to its contents that where spaced out filling up the box nicely. A small round neckless that displayed her reflection and the head of a full and bright blooming red rose were the main items. Slowly and solemnly she removed the earing and placed it in, the preservation spell that was cast on the rose made the jewel shine a bit brighter. She removed the neckless given to here for becoming a warden but left her magi ring, an anomaly that she was sure no one would notice.

She moved over to her weapons rack, the items here were to be used by her and only her. One's that added to her prestige were kept around the castle high upon the wall so they could be left to their impressive existence or here when she decided to make use of them. Among her collection in front of her were weapons ranging from staffs and daggers to full swords. The collection itself small but important since only she knew how to use their true powers. She was rather sentimental to them as well, some were there solely for their elven making or interesting historical story. Among her favorite staffs, that she used, were a Piece of Wood Andy brought to her that severed her remarkably well and Wintersbreath, she looked over it like a piece of art as she imminently connected to the icy breath it released. Daggers and short swords she could easily conceal were more plentiful, swords less so. She hid several around her body, Zevran had taught her some of how to be an assassin and she used her knowledge ardently. Some were positioned to defend vulnerable areas from attack, others to be able to use as quickly as possible, one was even up her sleeve so all she had to do to see behind her was to keep her weapons at the ready.

Only one of her swords would allow her to use her magic while wielded it however, her dearest Spellweaver. It seemed to hum more fervently, sensing her and completely stilled as she unconsciously touched it. She was the only magi, and person, for centuries that was able to use it. She had both the powers of magic and the knowledge of the Arcane Warrior to do so. As if having a willpower of its own it would vibrate out of anyone else's hands but for her it would even work for the moves she gave it.

 _Yes, a mage wielding a sword was something to see indeed_ \- she thought

She sought any excuse to bring it along. Clipping her sword and a dagger that once belonged to her Grey Warden tutor Duncan to her, Neria called for Andy and rushed down to the Great Room. Anders stood at the bottom of the stairs waiting for her.

"What did you do, have a cat nap?" Being one of the _very_ few people who could tease her in private he took many of the opportunities that came along.

"Something like that." She replied, although she did not encourage it she did like being treated more as an equal instead of the 'Warden-Commander, Hero of Ferelden' so she didn't discourage it too much either. Anders filled her in on any information from the wardens as they caught up to the Great Hall where her advisers told her of anything that would need her attention as soon as she was able. Finally, they made their way outside to where the Wardens gathered to start the day.

"ATTENTION!" cried a voice as Neria made her way to the front of the crowd. Armor clanged and voices hushed as Neria walked. She held her head up high and out of the corner of her eye watched her Wardens. She wasn't as tall as half of the people she pasted but she walked with such authority and presence one could sense where she was even if they could not see. All of the men and woman before her today wore heavy armor, the only exemptions from this were house staff and magi like herself. As she turned to face the crowd she allowed them a moment to take her in and for her to do the same.

Warden-Commander Neria was everything a person in power wouldn't expect. She was a young elven mage; her linage was unknown, she had been the lover of the current King of Ferelden, which few knew, and conqueror of the Arch Demon. On the street she would be treated with the highest disregard, here you could be killed if you disobeyed her. Wearing a magi's outfit and a simple sword tied to her back it was almost impossible to see her as a danger, unless you knew who she was. Having learned the importance of presentation and perspective she knew that she had to see herself through the eyes of those below her if she wanted the best out of them. She also loved such a simply look that could deceive those around her, to enemies and neutrals a like she would be irrelevant filth to freely talk in front of, but for others it gave them fear or courage to see her so plain. Any ambition to dress like her was quickly proven foolhardy once seeing how merciless and brutally she fought to make up for it, something that only those born in war could have. Besides no one listened if they were still trying to understand something that was so foreign to them.

Standing tall, poised and confident she addressed the crowd in front of her, she explained what a Grey Warden was and the life they would be taking up, the different groups that she held here and the expectations of those that chose to live here. She stood silent for a bit seeking out those that would have trouble adjusting to their new life. With time she was able to tell who would do what based off of their faces alone after she gave the rules. She could tell who would go after their family to who might cause an upstart from their opinion of her, both were equally troubling. When finished taking a mental note she called forth the leaders she had chosen and gave assignments to her people.

"The Silver Fangs and Fallen Stars will report to the Console chamber for your next mission from Oghren." The leader of the Silver Fangs, which consisted of knights from the Silverite Order made Ash Warriors, stepped forward and placed his hand on his chest. The Fallen Stars leader, which was a group of merciless Berserkers and Champions Warrior Wardens, bowed her head. Some people from the two clans howled for many were fans of Oghren and relished all time spent with him. Their mission would be to go to see if reports of a newly found cavern to the Deep Roads were true and kill any and all darkspawn that where there. Neria wished she could join them.

"Howling Death I give you new recruits for training, train them well." Neria's second Ash warrior group bowed in respect, the recruits which stood together near the front shifted slightly. The Howling death clan were very fearsome and bloody but quick and true and candid, just what newbies needed.

"New Grey Warden recruits group A will be meeting with Sigurn in the Great Hall, group B with Ander in the Arrow ring. Nathanial you are needed in the map room" Anders stood tall and smiled, he loved 'torching' new recruits, and although strict he was caring and was ideal for Wardens that were here for the cause. Sigurn muttered curses under her breath and shifted looking at the ground in displeasure. She hated dealing with newbies but was very adept handling those that were here for the fighting and honor. She had also started talking about how much she liked the idea of dying in the deep roads again but teaching untrained beginner always seemed to reminded her of why she joined the Wardens and took her thoughts away from the Legion of the Dead's purpose, her pervious cause.

"Bloody Paw I hear we have a new litter on the way and new dogs to train, I will not take you away from them, once the Howling Deaths are done with the recruits they will be fully yours. Until then you will work with them only when you need to teach them about caring for dogs and when the pups are ready, the joining will commence." She smiled warmly and unconsciously laid a hand on her own Mabari's head who sat dogged beside her, tall wagging shamelessly. She loved that in the beginning the new Ash Warriors seemed as much like pups as the actual dogs, it was always fun to watch and see them become unified. And with that she gave the rest of the orders and a final reminder about what it truly means to be a Grey Warden. Although they were in a time of peace with few darkspawn they needed to remember that no one believed it was a blight until it was too late. They chanted the Wardens Oath and she hid her feelings of betrayal and sadness as she bide her tide of warriors onward, only after their joining would they really know what was in store. It was not her choice to keep them in the dark but the tradition of the Wardens. She could only hope that most of them made it through. Making the deal with the Father had hardly had an effect on the taint of the Darkspawn blood but Neria held onto an unprovable hope that with less Darkspawn there was less of a deathly pull. It was a theory of her derived from the fact that Wardens could feel the creatures once they drank the blood, she hoped it was harder to make Wardens during a blight and easier otherwise. No one could say she didn't care for her people.

Commencing with the merchants and then heading to a constructed tower to deal with some mages before handing them over to her consoler, Neria began to wonder how her life had come to this. Six years ago she was an apprentice at the Circle Tower just about to become a Mage but was taken the night after to become a Grey Warden then; become one of the only two Wardens left after a gruesome betrayal by Loghain, gathered three different treaties to gain allies for a Blight that no one believed was happening during the start of the human civil war. The treaties themselves made her save the werewolf species, crown a dwarven king during the start of the dwarven civil war, save the Circle from an outbreak of demons the likes which has never been seen, and find an ancient jar containing the ashes of Andraste herself to heal a poisoned Ally. She fell in love and once all that was done she then defeated the Arch Demon the leader of the Darkspawn during an almost one on one battle parting her lover as the new King of Ferelden with his new wife, Queen Anora leaving her as the Warden-Commander and Hero of Ferelden. She still had trouble believing it and found a non-upsetting distance between her and her life. Figuring it was for the best she refused to face the emotions of it all and delved it all instead into her work as a type of release. She didn't know if she would see Zevran ever again and did not want to think of Alistair now, not that she had much of a choice. Strangely life seemed simpler then.

Rounding the Great Hall Sigurn made her move as soon as she saw Neria, not holding back in front of the recruits.

"You should have sent me to the Deep Roads, I know them well and can kill darkspawn quicker than any Ash Warrior. I still have a duty to the Legion." Her tone harsh and hurt.

"I needed you here and there is no one better for these recruits." Neria tried not to sound empathic.

"Give them to Nathaniel for all I care, I am meant to be in the Deep Roads!" she protested.

"Sigurn, I need someone to train them to die with honor giving everything they've got in battle, do you really think Nathan can do that?" Sigurn took a step back and looked to the ground.

"No, he does not know the honor of dying, of having a blade penetrate your heart and the honor of finally knowing the peace of true death." Legion of the Dead considered themselves already dead but awaited true death in battle, absolving them and their family from any wrong doings.

"I am glad you see it that way, this is very important and urgent, I don't have anyone else to do this, Nathaniel will be heading out soon with the merchants to open a trade route to Soldiers Peak, and the King will be coming to try and work with the Orlasien's further. I must give my full attention to that."

"Of course Warden-Commander, thank you for this important task." She bowed and turned back to her recruits gruffly.

"Alright recruits, it's time you learned about death. Up here death is distant but for Wardens that is never the case." And that was all that was heard as Neria left. Neria was running out of urgent tasks to keep Sigurn occupied. She knew she couldn't keep her from the Calling much longer. Most wardens waited until they were old to adhere to the Calling but Sigurn was eager to face her end in the Deep roads. But she had to put that out of her mind now, it was Sigurns choice in the end and more pressing matters where to be dealt with now. King Alistair was to arrive sometime between tonight and the end of the week. Neria hoped for the latter, she never had come to full term with how things had ended between them. It had been a heated and public moment and she couldn't hold how he acted against him in the least. She had kept a powerful secret from him that day and sooner or later it might come out. It would cause them both so much pain but the price of that pain was their lives so she deemed it worthy. Workers of the keep rushed around to make things ready, her consolers never felt ready for the King and the poor workers felt the haste. Neria tried to deceive them into believing that this was her land and she would do fit to have it as she pleased, it seemed easier than to admit to them that he wouldn't even notice but it never worked. She understood they felt their worth tied to the keep as she felt hers tied to her success as a Warden, so she stopped pushing the matter.

Moving to the wall to be as out of the way as possible she stole her nerves which were quickly gaining on her and went to check on Anders. She met with Oghren on his way out, he had just outfitted his teams with amour and weapons and were heading out.

"Commander." He greeted her as he shifted a large hammer on his shoulder.

"All ready to go out I see." Neria looked over the people in front of her. They stood proud and strong already looking ready for the most heated war, even gruff and grimacing they couldn't hold their excitement from her. She knew they were itching for a nest, they couldn't help it. Darkspawn were becoming infuriately harder to come by and while for some this came as a huge relief, thinking they were finally coming to an end once and for all, other saw this as a mocking move and no longer took peace for granted. A strict lesson of a Grey Warden but one that was hard to teach.

"Aye that's right." A part of her wanted to tell them to hurry back so she wouldn't have to deal with Alistair alone but she scolded herself the second the thought passed through her mind. Besides Oghren and him wouldn't get along either, they had a hard-enough time when they traveled together.

"We're about to kick some darkspawn where the Sun don't shine right boys!" Oghren and his men and woman cheered gleefully and stomped their boots which made a ringing in the halls.

Neria stood tall and folded her hands behind her back.

"Reminded them they don't even belong in the Deep Roads."

"Yes Warden-Commander Ma'ma!" they all called and bowed and left cheering.

 _Maybe this wasn't such a good idea._

Oghren turned and face her before he left.

"Anders needs to see ya." And with that was gone. Already planning to see him she was glad it would not disturb her schedule. She followed them outside and made her way quickly over to her Magi counterpart.

Anders stood feet apart and staff at the ready, already deep into training. With him were some magi who wished to serve and a few humans that seemed to be trying hard to keep up with him. He didn't even acknowledge her before she reached them. She surveyed them once more and noticed a small elven boy who was slightly trembling and a brut of a man standing beside him. Interested she watched them for a little bit and was impressed by the focus on the man's face and noticed an unused strength of will power from the boy. They would not move far forward if they kept up like that. The amount of focus the man gave took some of his attention away; he must be trying to prove something, the elf clearly did not feel his power here and that would surely get to him. She would have to say something to Anders.

"Alright that's enough for now, take a break and think about what I have just taught you. I need a word with the Warden-Commander." With that the elf jumped and the man quickly spun to face her and puffed out his chest, she wondered if their eyes were going to pop out of their heads. They all gave their formal bow and she her nod and moved away for privacy.

"Warden-Commander you showed!" Anders said checkly.

"Orghan said you needed to speak with me." She said suspiciously.

"Ah of course the bastard wouldn't tell you himself. He knew too you know, I just have the note."

"Anders you can make sense anytime now."

"Right, right well. This arrived by messenger. It just confirms what the boy told me himself." He said handing it over to her. "It says the King will make it here by tonight."

"Ah, did you tell the consolers? They'll have more need of this information than I." Neria tried not to stiffen, she looked over to Oghren who shifted his hammer to the other shoulder, adjusted his undies, and moved out of sight.

"Yes they know. They even took my servant to help with the feast tonight."

"You don't have a servant Anders. Why, why are you telling me like this, it's not like it is a big secret that the King was coming." She said.

"Ah right well but it is one that you used to be bed buddies with him. And I thought some delicacy might be needed." he said sheeply but she knew was complete false face. She tried not to murder him on the spot.

"Anders," she started.

"Now hear me out Warden-Commander, I know affairs of the heart can be rather hard to deal with and we all need a shoulder to cry on sometimes," continued Anders.

"I am going too," she said.

"And I just wanted to let you know that we are here for you if you need anything." He said.

"kill you slowly," she said.

"anything at all, he said.

"painfully," she said.

"and you can always come to us, we are your friends." He said.

"I will tie you to a pole," she said.

"I know it must be hard to have to deal with this in such a ceremonial setting and," he said.

"And I will put Mabari chow," she said.

"Not all of us have to deal with our ex becoming king," he said.

"In your undies and," she said.

"Let them loose in my room." He said.

They stood silently for a second, both on the verge of laughter or murder.

"That was Velanna not me." She said.

"Muddy paw prints." He said.

"They just had dinner and were still hungry you always hoard food in your room."

"Absolutely everywhere."

"If your door had been shut."

"Oh it _was_."

"locked."

"Tighter Sigurn's then ass."

"Sir Pouncealot."

"Mysteriously missing only to be found in your arms hours later."

"I swear I."

"I know you weren't the mastermind, Oghren will realize what he did tonight when he can't find any new underwear to change into and will have to live with an itchy ass the whole trip."

"Hey I saved Sir Pouncealot, they would have left him in there had I not hear Oghren drunk –talking to the dogs, who knows what would have happened to him." She said.

"Worried to death."

"I'm not apologizing I did nothing wrong!"

"What if it had been a heard of cat's after Andy huh?" She tried not to laugh at the thought of her dog rolling around with a pile of fat kittens like Sir Pouncealot who were trying to attack him.

"Oh please you saw me playing with him in front of the fire place before dinner and you know he always goes up to nap with Andy afterwards."

"No excuses."

"I'm sorry," she tried not to laugh. "But there was no way in hell I was going to stop them after what you did you Nat."

"Oh Sir Pouncealot was being very kind when he gave him that mouse,"

"The other thing Anders." He was silent for a second.

"His things were starting to smell they needed a good wash."

"All his shoes and undergarments needed to be washed in the lake?"

"Yes." She shook her head and wondered how they ever got anything done around here.

"Bloody hell, what are you going to do to Velanna?" She asked. He shifted uncomfortable.

"I haven't decided yet." He said.

"Why the hell get back at me then?" She imagined him getting as 'torched' as his new recruits.

"Honestly," he looked her right in the eye, his eyes kind. "What I said was true. That dwarf does like to talk when he is drunk and he told me about you two when you traveled. You sounded joined at the hip and not just in the fun way, although that too, a lot actually."

"Anders." She warned.

"I though you could use a laugh." Neria took a second and noticed that she did feel much better.

"In front of the recruits." Neria grimaced.

"They're none the wiser."

"Seriously though have you had a look at them? They think you are some big ol' tough girl that they either need to impress or die trying. That poor elf almost shit himself when I said you where here."

"He has a lot of untapped willpower, they must have sacred him close to losing it in the tower."

"Yeah I thought about that, not quite sure how to bring it out of him just yet."

"What about that hulk?"

"Well he has an interesting story that one. Says you saved his father when he was a kid and wants to repay you. I think he really will break something that one." She inwardly sighed.

"Watch him then, don't let him become a martyr."

"Mh hmm." They watched the newbies in silence.

"That was out of line." She struggled to get out.

"I hate you too." He jested.

"Just so we are on the same page."

"Yeah."

"I'll have Helen move the animal treats far away from the candies on the top self in the servant's pantry."

"Oh new treats! You know Sir Pouncealot would love some more with,"

"Good bye Anders."

"Alright you lot that's enough resting let's get back to work!" They moved away from each other and went straight back to their work. She applauded Anders at his timing; she wouldn't be able to really do anything to him until it would be too late. She didn't even have time to think over how she would deal with him. Neria muttered curses to herself as she stomped back to the war room to make sure that the frozen adrenaline slugging through her veins had enough time to adapt to the consoler's fevered frantics.

"It's not like he didn't live in a tent for all that time we were saving the world or anything." Neria stilled and took her world in with a sigh. She wondered if he was anything like the man she used to love. He never wanted to be king. She knew that being forced to be a part of something that big alone would change people. Who was she welcoming into the world she spent years to create? She had never thought about what it must be like to look into the face of someone you once loved and see only a stranger. The thought hit her hard as she fought for the ability to breathe. There had never be a type of certainty in her life other than strength of her own character but even this because to falter when she remembered what she had done. He wouldn't be king now if it weren't for her; he might not be alive either. She fought from raising her chin and chilling herself from the world. It was always better to feel something and this feeling of duty and self-respect that had kept her sane was something she much preferred to cling to. She saw what it did to people to freeze themselves, sometimes they made smart, calculated choices, often they made more selfish ones. Too much needed her sanity to focus and work that being selfish would be destructive. She decided that she would treat Alistair as she would treat any other Lord, with enough respect to make them feel honored and enough warmth to feel wanted. Was he wanted? Neria continued her overseeing of the land until it started to make her uneasy that the war console hadn't contacted her.

Most days she would be the one that would call them to converge but of course Alistair had shuffled that around as well. Neria wasn't the only one that had to deal with duties that were foreign to her. News that he would be arriving sooner than expected expedited things but that didn't mean that she didn't have things to do prior to him interrupting her life. Having almost redone menial tasks Neria was moments from storming off to study old Elf runes that had recently been found back in the lab next to her room far in a tower. A small servant boy found that to be a convent moment to rush up to her out of breath and tell her that they were finally ready. With a stride that out ran the boy she peeled the doors open ready to finally get down to something that would actually make a difference.

"I know that we have little time in here today so I am sure that you will forgive me if I just want to get right to the point. What news do we have?" She splayed her hands across the table taking in her peoples' locations.

"The dwarfs are taking their time with their new king, but news is that they might be opening their doors to the world again." Recited a stiff man.

"Sure, has taken a long time." A gentle woman spoke.

"News has it that their last king has been under several assignation attempts."

"Damn he seemed like a good choice." Neria growled.

"It can't be your fault my lady."

"Damn it is my fault, I was there I chose for them because we needed them to fight for the world."

"They couldn't get past their own issues of legacy. Now that is tearing them apart. If that is what they chose to do with their lives let them do it as long as it doesn't affect us." A strong melody of a voice pushed from a corner in the room."

"Lilliana, it's good to see you again. Surely this honor is for me?" Neria straighten up, happy to see her old friend.

"Partially yes, but I would be lying if I were to say that Alistair wouldn't be to blame as well."

"I know you won't take sides, so don't flatter me so. Fetch us something to eat and drink will you?" Neria motions towards the door.

"Oh, don't let me get in your way."

"Am I known for that? I thought I had better focus then that."

"Maybe when there were darkspawn around my lady, but maybe that has changed."


End file.
